a friend of mine and I had a talk about sexuality. she said that i don’t look like a lesbian, that’s for her. well, i said that, yeah, i’m not. or i think that is what i want to think too. and that if i’m a Lesbian i won’t go out with “HIM” or i won’t let guys–some– to court me. afterward, she asked me, if given a chance, would there be a possibility that i would do relationship with a girl? i said,i don’t know; who knows, MAYBE. what i mean with that is that, i don’t care whom i would do relationship with. i’m a free soul.if would have a relationship with a guy then, so be it. and if with a girl, then let it happen. but still, i don’t think i would fall in the label that they called BISEXUAL, i mean, i myself don’t label for who and what i am. sexuality doesn’t define me as a person. i also said to her that as of now, as much as possible i don’t want to do relationship, you know, i don’t like the possessiveness of a woman, or the over protectiveness and restrictions that is set by a guy. i don’t want anyone holding my neck. she said, you do not like many things, how’s that?!i shrug and said, i don’t know, maybe i’m made not to do relationships. having a relationship.. i mean INTIMATE relationship with whoever the fuck it would be.. makes my goosebumps appear. oh well, i also said to her that, i don’t want to get married but i want to have a kid. how’s that possible? i don’t know, maybe some RANDOM FUCK. i also mention her about a fortune teller telling me that ”it is possible that i might get married months after my college graduation.” i laugh when she curt her eyes at me, yeah, i find it funny. and i shrug again and said, well, the only possible thing that would make me utter some matrimonial vows is if that marriage is a “FIXED MARRIAGE” , and since it is not possible.. well, it wouldn’t be happening… [fingers crossed]
oh yeah, i mention about RANDOM FUCK earlier. my friend had berate me when i said something like that. it’s kinda– oh, it’s OFF really.. but i find it funny, i don’t know, maybe saying something like that is normal for me. random shag, occasional fuck, orgasm, one night of pleasure, spliff, fag, MDMA, those were just some words that i grew accustom with. usually i use some of those words as my expression. it’s normal, but not in the society i’m in. i also said to her that, i think i don’t belong in the society i’m in, that maybe i should live somewhere with the Europeans or Americans [i preferred EUROPEANS... ] i feel like a free soul like me doesn’t belong in a society that is boxed in traditions.
i mean, so what if i support gay marriage? so what if i want to try drugs? so what if i “COULD” give in to occasional shags, so what if i don’t do relationships, so what if my mind is liberated? I’m a FREE SOUL. who cares by the way?