it’s been a long time since i last walk that path. and now.. here i am… standing in front of two different paths.
i wanted to continue and walk straight to a place…a place wherein i’ll face different struggles..venture different emotions.. but the haven kept on pulling me. telling me that i should give up. that i need to stop.. stop struggling for something that i will never get. my haven kept on calling my name.. saying that it is best if i just end up something that is not worth it. but… is it not worth it at all?
i’m disheveled. i’m wrecked. i’m wounded.
i’m the one to choose.. will i continue that path of pain just to have something that i’m not sure if it will stay.. or stop and walk to the path i used to walk in to seek for comfort and assurance. but, if i go back… i would never get that thing.. more so, i won’t even have a glimpse..
i’m stuck in this limbo right now, asking myself.. what have i done? what did i do? or did i do something to make this things so complicated? honestly.. i want to give up. want to stop. want to heal this wounded body of mine. but something tells me.. the inner me is telling me that if i don’t go.. i won’t be able to see the answers that i’ve been looking for.
the path of emotions kept on pulling me.. telling me that if i go in there.. i’ll experience pain and there is no assurance that i’ll be okay.. that is where the path of haven comes.. it’s inviting.. it makes me wanna give up from the fight..
what will i do? will i walk to the haven’s path? or the other way? but.. what am i fighting for really.. the price? the privileges? or the thing called victory for a friendship that is faltering?
i want to conclude and say that i should go to the emotions path.. but.. my feet walking towards the place of giving up.