“I was wrong when I said that peterpan and neverland never exist. I was wrong when I said that everything was just a pigment of my imagination.. or rather the author’s imagination.”
Neverland exist. Somehow in the deepest corner of my brain—or heart I should say. Peter pan also existed. We crossed each other’s path when I was walking in an empty street. He was looking for his wendy and he’s not with the little fairy named bell.. tinkerbell. I talked to this peterpan and asked him some things.. I asked him where he came from and he just told me that he’s from that star. That second star from the right. I look at it and seems like it smiled at me. Peter also smiled, but his smile did not reach his eyes. We had a good talk about life. I asked him if why he was walking in an empty street… and he just said that… he just returned to where he last saw his wendy. I find hope in his eyes… hope that one day his Wendy will come across to this path and see him. then all of a sudden, he asked me back. Same question. At first, I didn’t answer. I was also asking for answer with that question. The empty street. The faint light from the streetlights. The light coming from the moon. Are those reasons enough to answer that question? I asked myself. He waited for answers, he was just there talking to me with those eyes, those empty eyes. I looked at him for the first time. As in really looking at him. then I shook my head. His eyes mirrored the emotion that I have right now. Emptiness. He then said to me. “I know you’re feeling some sort of emptiness. and stop holding back. Someone’s awaiting for you. someone is there looking for you. stop being a prisoner of your emotions. Let things go. It’s easy.” I wonder how in the world he could say something like that. I mean, his eyes were empty. He was empty and he is broken as I am. So why? And maybe the unspoken question was showed in my face. “you know.. I’m empty. But I still hope, that one day.. I’ll see her again. The woman I love. The woman I cared for. I know I’ll do. I still hope. And I’m not breaking any promised that we had.” Right then and there. I know I already fall. No, I know I fall for the longest time. For him. for peter pan. But I also know that I never had a chance. Did I fight? NO. peter pan is for wendy. That’s the equation. I loved I know, that’s why… it’s quite okay for me. I’ve longed accepted that fact.
We spend quite some time cracking jokes and everything. But still his eyes didn’t reach that empty eyes. You know what I wished for that time? Well, I wish that I would see her. Tinker bell. So that I could wish that… hopefully.. peter will see his Wendy again. I’m no masochist you know. But it may be a cliché: “I’ll be happy if he find his happiness.” Stupid may be.. but that’s how it should be, right? I mean.. I’m just another girl in his part. I’m just another girl he could talk to. And now? I moved on. That’s why I could write this. that’s why I’m okay with everything. Sadly, after the talked… we never crossed each other’s path. I don’t know. But yeah.. I don’t wanna know. It might bring back some memories that I shouldn’t be thinking. I’m afraid that it might happen. I’m afraid that… I’m not really over him. but as of the moment. peter pan, I guess, is happy. Last thing I know, he found wendy and they’re happy.. I hope they would stay like that.. and as for me? I’m flying here somewhere… away from the place I once called home. Oh! Did I tell you why tinker didn’t showed up? She showed up. She was there. Talking to that boy who never grew up. She was there talking about emptiness.. I was she. She was I. tinkerbell is me.. I am tinkerbell.. and.. someone else granted my wish. I am tinkerbell.. I’m a fairy.. but I don’t heal a broken person.. especially when I’m broken myself. But as what I’ve said.. as of the moment. I’m free.. free from emotions that made me broken. And oh… I didn’t tell you why I was there in that street.. well I was also searching for something.. but I found it.. hmmn.. when I learned how to let go..